it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
