it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
