But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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