Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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