You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
