i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
