are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
