Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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