does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i think i just lost a toe
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
