the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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