why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
