I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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