He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
