Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
