I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
