You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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