Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
