That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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