Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
