I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just want nice things and good sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
