They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
