but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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