Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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