How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
