where does the pee come out of this thing
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
