Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
