foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is Oprah even human
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
