Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
