Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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