My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I want is dick and wine.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
