porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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