You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
