Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
