Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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