He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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