We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
