Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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