Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A bitchslap is in order.
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