take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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