8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
