spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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