DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
