Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
