I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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