so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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