he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
