your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wrigley field is MILF paradise
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
