I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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