dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
