I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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